Become as Little Children

I am reading a book called Beyond Success and Failure (Willard and Marguerite Beecher). If you read my last post, it spoke of relying on God to become self reliant.

This perspective is eye opening. The book focuses on releasing ourselves from dependency. As children, we learn to be dependent on our parents. As we grow up, we tend to hold onto that dependency. As the book broke down the issue, I had the thought come to me, We all have a part of us that wants to be a child. By this I mean we don't like being responsible for our mistakes, we want to blame others when we struggle, and want another person to comfort us when times are rough.

The book teaches how to recognize our own childish dependency, and become self reliant. I have been enlightened, and did not realize how much childlike dependency I have. I was at first stumped, and unsure how improve this.

The solution is simple. The only way is to give this struggle to my Father in Heaven. He is the perfect parent. I must become humble and willing as a child so that I can accept what the Lord can give me to fill any vacancy I might have. If I feel deprived of something, He is who I need to turn to. He can soften my heart, and give me a new perspective. He will take what I am given, and help me to understand I have more than enough of what I need. He can help me see others the way he see them.

If we have an insecurity or struggle, we may misplace our blame on our parents. I know I have done this. I am now learning to see my parents as HUMAN. It is not their job to be perfect!! They are allowed to make mistakes, and I must not hold them hostage! They love me in the way that they can, and I must be grateful, rather than focusing what they maybe didn't give me. My parents do more things right than not. Even if that wasn't the case, it is up to me as a disciple of Christ to forgive and love them exactly the way they are.

I want to mention that I understand there are cases where people have truly been mistreated by parents, and were not taken care of. Child Abuse of any kind is NOT okay, and there is understanding for those who feel anger towards those who abused them. Only forgiveness through Christ can heal that. But, blaming a person, even if they are at fault, does not help our hearts.

I want to be child like, not childish. I was to self reliant, but humble. I want to share this, because it has changed me, and the way I live.

My Heart Belongs to God First

I used to believe that claiming that I loved God the most meant I loved him the most.

I've have learned these past few months it is not that simple.

My relationship with the Lord is close, which allows Him to give me more commandments than just what can be read in the scriptures. He will prompt me, and ask me to do things. In return, I receive more knowledge.

Recently, he asked me to do something that I did not want to carry out. It seemed like it would hurt me more than help me. My mind and heart fought Him, trying to find any way out, any loophole. There was none. "If you love me, keep my commandments" seemed unreasonable, and impossible.

I cannot live long without the spirit. Loss of the spirit literally changes a bright and beautiful girl into one who dark, without direction, and can only think of herself. It truly is a frightening state to be in. I don't ever want to go back.

The starvation of the spirit led me to sacrificing something I thought I wanted more than anything. I was taught by one of my mentors to live the Law of Consecration. It was okay that this was going to be a hard sacrifice, but I needed to consecrate this sacrifice. I would pray, Lord, I want the spirit back, I am willing to give this to you, in hopes that you will take care of me in return. The Lord has truly blessed me with knowledge, and I feel like Lexee again.

I have been receiving promptings left and right. I was given back my gift to write. (Did my few readers miss me much???) I don't share this to boost, or give very personal details of my life. I share this because I have been inspired to love God more than myself. I realize once again I am not perfect, but can work towards perfect obedience. I can't help but share it, because the amount of spirit I feel is incredible.

There is another reason that we must love God more than anyone. 

 

I have a book called The Missing Piece Meets the Big O. It is about a Missing Piece who is looking to complete someone who is missing a piece. (The illustrations are triangles and circles that need a triangle to be a full circle). It finds a circle to complete, but begins to grow and no longer fits. It then proceeds to meet the Big O, who has no place for a missing piece, it is complete. The Missing Piece wants to "roll" with it, but has no place to fit. The Big O tells the Missing Piece to try rolling by itself. Eventually, the Missing Piece's corners wear off, and it is complete. 

 

You know what's neat about the idea of self reliance? I don't have to completely rely on myself to become self reliant. I can rely on God to help me wear down my corners. I can be self reliant by relying on him. I can complete my own happiness. Rather than looking towards friends, music, and other pleasures to rely on for comfort when I am weak, I can turn to the Lord for his perfect comfort. This is not easy. But, God can take what we give Him, and make it enough to complete ourselves.

I am blessed to be learning this so soon in my life. This is what I truly believe: Because people are imperfect, we must learn not to depend on others to truly saves ourselves. This is not to say we should not love others, serve them, and be there for them. It means we do this, but also know how to do this for ourselves. My hard experiences have given the Lord another opportunity to humble me, and bring me to Him. I need to love God more than anyone else, and He is teaching how to make that possible. Jesus Christ has already saved me, why would I continue to look towards someone else to do it again? I don't need to be saved by anyone by my Savior and my God.

 

In the Name of Jesus Christ, Amen.