Prayer in All Things

I have been at loss for words for a long time. I miss writing, it helps me keep my sanity.

I have been getting mixed up with the voices I hear.

I literally would hear: "Do this" followed by "Don't do this." The issue, it wasn't obvious which was right. Either could be right. It wasn't a "Pray" vs. "Don't pray".

For a couple of weeks, I was confused and was beginning to panic. Was I being disobedient? Was I doing what I wanted, and not what the spirit was asking me to do? I began to feel hardened again God. It was His fault for not making this more clear!!!

To make this experience more clear, I kept feeling to fast, and then it was followed by "don't fast". Normally, I would just fast. But this was happening everyday. I would try, and give up. Then when I succeeded, I would make myself exhausted or sick. Last night I screamed at Heavenly Father. Today, I just began to cry. I couldn't do it! I would I beat myself up for "failing".

Now before I go on, if Heavenly Father wanted to fast 40 days and 40 nights, I could. He makes everything possible. The problem was, I wasn't being clearly directed by the spirit. I wasn't given the spiritual strength and motivation to fast.

Finally, I told Heavenly Father, I was willing to do 12 hours fasts everyday. That was the most I could do, unless He helped me. Then I heard, "I need your prayers." I realized I hadn't been talking to God enough to even know what I was hearing. The only thing I was asking was, "Wait, am I really supposed to fast?" I wasn't giving prayers of gratitude, I wasn't praying for others, I could only think of what a failure I was. Once I came to Him, and cried out a heartfelt, sincere prayer, I was filled with peace. Heavenly Father saw I had given my full attention. Not only have I received direction on how and when to fast, I have again received his direction in all things.

Moral of the story. Allow Heavenly Father to be involved of every aspect of your life! It is a lot harder to be confused by the voices you hear. The more you talk to Him, the more you learn how to hear Him.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.